comfort

As I walked into the building for my oncology appointment I was very overwhelmed. I took the elevator to the third floor, and began to head towards the oncology department. I noticed a painting on the wall as I walked down the hallway.

Sparrows.

I continued towards oncology.

More sparrows.

I was reminded of the bible verse that had comforted me right after my cancer diagnosis.

Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin?
And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will.
But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Do not fear therefore;
You are of more value than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:29-31

As I continued to walk, more sparrows.

not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will.

Sparrows everywhere.

But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

So many sparrows.

Do not fear therefore;
You are of more value than many sparrows.

I sat and stared at all the paintings as I waited for my name to be called. My mom and my mother-in-law had both come with me for support. I was very thankful to have them with me.

Soon we found ourselves waiting in the examination room for the doctor. On a whiteboard someone had written a bible verse. I don’t know if it was written by a medical professional, or maybe a patient before me. It doesn’t matter. I thought to myself, God is here. God is with me. God will decide what is next for me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart…

I’m trusting.

Ten minutes felt like an eternity to wait for the oncologist. She came in, examined me, and started talking. She said a lot. A lot of it is a blur to me. Four words stood out:

“No chemo.”

“No radiation.”

My moms cheered. I failed at holding back tears of gratitude.

Thank God. Thank God. Thank God.

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